![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/1-photo_51590_20110727.jpg\" "\\"empathy\\"")
<\/a><\/p>\nAccording to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Empathy is the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also, the capacity for this.<\/em><\/p>\n As complex as it sounds empathy is, simply put, the ability to be in someone else\u2019s shoes. So when I write I\u2019m always in my characters shoes, for better and for worse. And the more I distance myself from my own reality, and dive deep into my characters place within the plot, the stronger my connection, and less untainted my empathy.<\/p>\n There are many ways to amplify our ability to empathize. We learn through our personal experiences, and our exposure to life, and not surprisingly avid readers have superior levels of empathy. But I was blessed with the opportunity to live in three countries in three different continents. And I can attest, there\u2019s nothing like the full exposure to foreign cultures to open up our minds and heighten our respect to distinct ways of life, our tolerance to opposite points of view, and hence our empathy.<\/p>\n There\u2019s nothing like seeing a tiny hungry child sat on the curb in a distant Chinese province for us to understand and accept that that child will gladly eat dog meat, if she can get her hands on it. And having seen it you can completely understand how delicious it is for her. Gone is the revulsion. If you could you would gladly roast for her a nice juicy dog\u2019s leg, not having access to one you end up offering the child your protein bar, which is loaded with sugar, and will ultimately ruin her teeth. You see, in many provinces throughout China there isn\u2019t any other source of protein besides exotic meats, and bugs, and they don\u2019t have access to floss, or even a toothbrush. When hours later you finally arrive back in your hotel, you feel miserable for having given the child the sugary treat. Watching a TV show about such circumstances is one thing, seeing it, smelling it, and touching it is another entirely. I\u2019m not writing it to make you feel bad, but an experience like that will make you much more tolerant to different eating habits around the world, not to mention compassionate.<\/p>\n I chose this example certainly because it touched me deeply, but also because it made me realize I was desensitized by my own experiences growing up in Brazil, where during my formative years I saw plenty of poverty and hunger, to the point where it didn\u2019t touch me deeply anymore. I used to have bags of fruits and buns, or snack size cookie packages in my car, and every time I stopped at a light if a child or a homeless adult asked for money, I would give them food. I saw plenty of both, kids and paupers, throwing the snacks away in disgust. They wanted money, either for alcohol or drugs, either to give it to the owner of the corner who took them there to beg. Things are much better in Brazil now, but you can still be faced with situations like those in the poorest neighborhoods of the big Brazilian metropolises like Rio and S\u00e3o Paulo. And if you ever go to Brazil, don\u2019t buy anything from the kids selling at stoplights, most of the merchandise is stolen.<\/p>\n Of course there were those who would jump happily at the sight of food, and those who would ask me for more to take home to their families. The truth though, being extremely honest, is that I was so accustomed to those daily encounters, on my way to college or to work, that it all seemed casual. There\u2019s nothing casual about hunger, and when I was faced with it outside of my usual environment it hit me hard. And it made me better. We don\u2019t notice how our environment changes us because it happens so very gradually. And ultimately we become less empathic.<\/p>\n So, do something to shake things up every once in a while. Besides the obvious choices such as reading and traveling, you may volunteer in your community food bank, or lend an ear to a friend\u2019s disillusions; take a walk, a breast cancer awareness walk. The options are as vast as human struggles. And as you help others you are also being helped. It\u2019s an exchange, a little of your time for a better you, and your writing will show.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I read plenty about different ways to make my writing better. The Internet is overflowing with articles on how to make your dialogues better, how to create suspense, how to better structure your manuscript, and recently I was offered a webinar in Story Physics, whatever that is. There are plenty of creative titles for \u201chow […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[41,42],"class_list":["post-159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-empathy","tag-our-environment-desensitizes-us"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=159"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":161,"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159\/revisions\/161"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.adrigomes.com\/literaryexchange\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}